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70 Relationship Questions To Ask (Before Things Get Too Serious)

How do you know if your current partner is really the "right person"? This is one of the most common relationship questions I get from clients, conference attendees, and even friends.

Most people tend to judge their compatibility and happiness with their partner by looking at other partners. Just because the other couple looks happy doesn't mean the relationship is pure happy without any problems

When you observe other people's romantic experiences as a spectator that makes you stop and wonder, "Is their relationship a happy one?" And, of course, then the inevitable: "Is our relationship happy?"

To make it easier for couples to assess their relationship and compatibility, I've created this list of 70 relationship questions to ask your boyfriend, girlfriend, or lover. The discussion topics listed below will not only provide food for thought but may even initiate the kind of communication breakthrough you both need. 

I'm always amazed at how couples can go weeks, months, or even years without delving into and connecting each other's core values, beliefs, and goals. I even advise newlyweds who are shocked to find they disagree on whether or not to have children!

You don't have to bombard your lover with all 70 questions at once, just browse through the list to find the ones that interest you. For example, you may already know how much your partner likes to relax, but you want to know when he last cried or what he considers his most precious possession.

This list is suitable for couples at every stage of a relationship, from those who are just starting out to those who have already established a long-term relationship. So let's narrow it down and explore these 70 insightful questions about relationship compatibility.

Tips for good conversation in relationships
1. Honest: Always be honest with your partner when talking. There's nothing worse than being lied to by your boyfriend.
2. Listening: The best conversations involve careful listening.
3. Show respect: When speaking, you should always respect your partner's thoughts, dreams, experiences, fears, regrets, and nightmares. Respect is everything in a good relationship.

Questions about a good relationship
If you want to improve your relationship with deep and meaningful conversations, you need to find the right conversation topics. The following 10 great questions to ask in a relationship are perfect for a great conversation for you and your partner. With those questions, you get a chance to improve your relationship. So take your partner and have a look!

1. What is the earliest memory you have of me?
When you ask this question, you and your partner get a chance to talk about your first date. Maybe it's love at first sight for your partner, or it might take a little longer before he's convinced.

2. What would be the perfect romantic getaway for you?

Everyone loves to travel. And what's better than talking about your dream of a romantic getaway with your partner?

3. What do you want to achieve in your life?
This question about a good relationship is perfect for starting to talk about your future with your lover. It is important to know your partner's plans, dreams, and desires.

4. What is the best advice anyone has ever given you?
With these questions, you can learn more about your partner's past. By asking this question, you can dive into deep conversations about past experiences.

5. What do you like most about me?
This question is tricky: Does your partner like your appearance more than your thoughts?

6. How did your last relationship end?
It is always good to know how your previous partner's relationship ended. Yes, it can be painful to talk about past relationships, but it's important to avoid repeating mistakes.

7. How did you grow up?
This question is to talk about your childhood experiences with your partner. It is wonderful to share stories about your family and childhood friends.

8. Have you ever fallen in love before me?
Another tricky question about your partner's past. This question can lead to a deep and meaningful conversation about love in general.

9. What's one thing you can't stand in a relationship?

Frequently asked questions about these relationships can save you from making mistakes. Just remember the answer!

10. What is the story behind your first kiss?
Honestly, the most awkward and weird first kiss. But in a relationship, you and your partner need to be open to each other and be able to talk about previous romantic experiences.

Deep relationship questions to ask your partner
The following 10 relationship questions to ask your partner are ideal for an in-depth conversation. The conversation starts off perfectly to dive into a meaningful discussion with your significant other. Check it out and start talking to your boyfriend!

1. What was the worst day of your life so far and why?
Yes, this is a difficult one. But in a relationship, you have to be there for each other in good times and bad. We guarantee, sharing your worst experiences with each other will bring you closer.

2. Do you believe in God?

There are many different religions in this world. Some take their beliefs very seriously, some less, and some don't believe them at all. So, ask this question and get to know your partner's opinion.

3. Who is the most important person in your life?
Besides you, of course. Perhaps the most important person to him was someone from his family? Or one of his friends? Ask questions and find answers.

4. What do you think about the occult?

Opinions differ here. Some people believe in ghosts, haunted houses, and witches, and then again there are people who only believe in science. What's your type of boyfriend?

5. Do you want to get married? If so when?
Even though marriage is not as popular as it is today, many couples still choose to get married. You should definitely discuss this topic with your partner to see if you share the same opinion.

6. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
Another tough question. We doubt that there is a correct answer here. If your partner is very uncomfortable with this question, you may be better off skipping it.

7. When was the last time you cried and why?

Maybe because of some bad news, or an injury, or just because of a sad movie. Ask questions and be prepared to hear sad stories.

8. How would you describe a perfect day?

We all want to see our partner happy all the time, right? Then one step closer to making your favorite person happy and seeing her dream of the perfect day.

9. What's the one thing you can't live without?
Yes, we are looking for “something”, not people. If your partner says "you", it doesn't count.

10. If you could see the future, what would you like to see 5 years from now?
This question is perfect for knowing the dreams of your partner in the future. Talking about future dreams is always a great way to dive into a deep conversation. And who knows, maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend dreams of you?

Fun relationship questions
Do you and your partner like to make each other laugh? Then the next 10 fun relationship questions are for you. When you share the funniest and most embarrassing stories, fantasies and thoughts with each other, you will burst out laughing! Check them out!

1. What's your weirdest dream about me?
It doesn't matter if it's a normal dream or a daydream, sometimes crazy thoughts pop up. And who knows, maybe you starred in the craziest dream ever?

2. What is the best joke you know?
Clear the stage! Get ready to hear the best jokes your partner has. Tip: If it's a racist or sexist joke, run.

3. What is your craziest sex fantasy?

Uh, getting hot now. If this is a very strange fantasy, try not to judge your partner.

4. What is your favorite drink?
Once you share your favorite drink, you can also prepare and drink it right away. If you are lazy you can of course visit the next bar…

5. What is the funniest moment of your life so far?
Let's go and ask this question to be a part of the funniest moment in your partner's life. Maybe you shouldn't laugh too loudly if he's embarrassing himself.

6. What was your first impression of me?
In fact, first impressions are often very funny. Maybe your boyfriend initially thought you were a total bitch? Or maybe your boyfriend thinks you're a show-off? Share your thoughts!

7. Who is the funniest person you know?
Maybe you? If you don't know the person, ask the funniest story!

8. What was the funniest thing that ever happened on one of your dates?
During a date, it might be a very embarrassing moment, but that's how the best stories come out, right?

9. What is your most embarrassing sex story?
Everyone has at least one embarrassing bed story and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Dare to share your most embarrassing sex stories with your partner and start laughing!

10. If I were an animal, what would I be?
There are lots of great animals out there. But I hope he doesn't say you're going to be a skunk. Or cockroaches.

Serious relationship questions
With the next 10 serious questions, you and your partner get a chance to improve your relationship. The following questions are about your past, present, and future thoughts. Take a look at them and enjoy some great talks with your significant other!

1. What do you think about love?
Everyone has a different opinion about love. Some believe in one big love, while others want to have diverse and shorter relationships. Ask this question and dive into a serious discussion about love.

2. What do you value most in our relationship?
Appreciate whatever your partner answers to this serious question, and maybe add yours to this one as well. It will make both of you happy!

3. What do you think, is it okay to deceive someone?
This question can save you from unpleasant surprises later on.

4. What do you think about the current political situation in our country?
Yes, this is a difficult one. But in a serious relationship, it's also important to exchange views on political opinion. It's definitely never too early for this conversation.

5. What was the worst thing that ever happened in one of your past relationships?
We all carry baggage from our previous relationships with us. No matter what your partner will say, try to show understanding. But don't rush your partner to answer if he doesn't want to answer the question.

6. Where would you like to live in the future?
This serious relationship question is important if you are thinking about taking the next step. Start talking and make sure you're on the same page!

7. If we have children, which of us will stay at home?
Even if you're not thinking about your own children right now, it's never too early to talk about such things.

8. When was the last time you were jealous?
Jealousy is a terrible feeling. While no one wants to be jealous, we all will at some point in our relationship. Tip: If your partner admits that he's often jealous, you should try to help him feel more secure in the relationship.

9. What goals do you have for our future?
Have you finally found the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Perfect! Then ask him this serious question to see if you share the same opinion.

10. Is there a question you never asked me but always wanted?
If so, now is the time to ask this question.

Important relationship questions
There are certain topics that should definitely be discussed in a relationship. We've rounded up the 10 most important relationship questions you should ask your partner right away. Check them out and dive into important conversations with your partner!

1. How important is your family to you?

Is there anything more important than family? In our opinion no, but well, everyone has their own experience with the topic of family. But be careful, this question can mean that from now on you will be a part of every family gathering.

2. Have you ever betrayed someone?

If so, be sure to let your partner finish the full story. Who knows, maybe there's a good reason for his behavior?

3. What is your plan if we have financial problems?
No one knows what will happen in the future. And unfortunately, financial difficulties can happen to anyone. It's a good idea to make contingency plans with your partner now.

4. What can improve our relationship?
There is a lot of work and compromise behind a successful relationship.

5. How do you tell me if you are no longer happy in our relationship?
Even in the best of relationships, doubts sometimes arise. And the only thing that helps is discussing your thoughts with your partner. Communication is key.

6. What would you define as cheating?
While flirting is cheating for some people, even for others to make out with other people is fine. Early in any relationship, you should explain what the word "cheating" means to you.

7. Do you want to have children?
Even if you don't want to have children yourself, you should discuss this topic with your partner. It is very important to share your thoughts and plans for children with your partner.

8. What do you think about my family?
Even if you often get irritated by your loving parents or annoying siblings, no one else is allowed to say anything against them. Of course not, it's your family. But in a successful relationship, your partner becomes a part of your family, so you have to accept his opinion about the person you love too.

9. What do you think about polygamy?
There are many couples out there who define their relationship as a polyamorous one. You should definitely discuss this important relationship topic with your boyfriend.

10. What do you think is your worst habit?

Everyone has bad habits. But have you ever seen your worst partner?

Questions about relationships to ask a guy
Here we've rounded up the 10 best relationship questions to ask a guy. Those intimate questions are made for you to ask your boyfriend. Check out these 10 great conversation starters to deepen the connection between you and your special man!

1. If you think about your past love interests, do you have a special type? If so, am I compatible with it?
Everyone has their type. But are you the type? But don't be sad if you don't fit into his past type category. People change!

2. How would you feel if I made more money than you?

Even though we live in the 21st century, some men still feel intimidated by successful women. You should explain this early in the relationship.

3. Do you believe that love can last a lifetime?
Eternal love is usually the happy ending of fairy tales and romantic movies. But is there true love in real life? And have you ever found true love?

4. How does our relationship make you very happy?
The answers to these relationship questions to ask a guy are sure to surprise you. And I hope it makes you happy too!

5. How do you think you will become a grandfather?
This question to ask your girlfriend is for dreamers. How are you two going to be grandparents? Share your thoughts and dreams about the future!

6. What do you think about feminism?
Yes, actually there are still men in this world who believe that women are part of the kitchen. Better make sure you don't catch any of these guys.

7. What is your happiest childhood memory?
Talking about good childhood memories is always a great way to get to know each other on a deeper level. If he can't think of anything quickly, maybe give him more input: He can start thinking about past birthdays, vacations, vacations, or childhood friends.

8. What do you think is more important: Money or happiness?
Is he more of a materialistic man or an idealist man? And does he think money can buy you happiness? Also, share your opinion with your partner!

9. What do you think about voting?
The right to vote is a privilege that our ancestors fought for. And in many other countries, this struggle is not over. For this reason, everyone must vote in the election. Make sure your partner is always voting too.

10. Why do you love me?
The final relationship question to ask your boyfriend is a tough one. Here you have to give the guy of your choice some time to think about it. But once he gives you all the reasons why he wants to spend the rest of your life with you, you're bound to feel good. Have fun!

Questions about relationships to ask a girl
These 10 relationship questions are perfect for you if you want to start a deep conversation with your boyfriend. These conversation starters are ideal for deepening your relationship.

1. What is your dream job?
It is always nice to talk about dreams with loved ones. With these questions, you can share your thoughts, plans, and desires with each other. Try asking your boyfriend this question and see what happens!

2. Who was your first crush? And what happened to him?
Sometimes it hurts to talk about past love relationships with your partner, but it sure is liberating. Besides, the first crush was probably decades ago and wasn't that serious anyway. So let your boyfriend talk about his first love experience, and please don't laugh!

3. If you could be a man for a day, what would you do?
We're sure it's going to be something dirty. After your answer, he's guaranteed to ask you what you would do if you were a girl someday. Be prepared!

4. What do you remember about the first time we met?
First impressions are always something very special. Ask your boyfriend this question and find out what they thought when he first saw you!

5. What is your favorite smell?
Is there anything better than a pleasant smell? Find out which scent your boyfriend likes the most and who knows, maybe you'll find a perfume that smells like one? When you put it on, he definitely can't take his hands off you.

6. Who is your best friend and what do you like about that person?
True friendship cannot be compared to money. Some people have many friends, some only a few but very good friends. However, it reveals a lot about a girl how she treats her friends.

7. What do you like to do on rainy days?
In our opinion, a rainy day is ideal to spend in bed. But maybe your boyfriend prefers eating hot chocolate and listening to the rain, or he might prefer to watch a good movie, or he might just go out and dance in the rain. Ask questions about this relationship and find the answers!

8. What do you think about wedding rings?
Although wedding rings have a high symbolic value to many, for others they are a relic of a bygone era. Ask your boyfriend this question to find out what he thinks about the wedding ring. Beware, this question can lead to conversations about the future, marriage, and children. So ask this question only when you are ready.

9. Do you compare yourself to other girls? Why do you say that?
Comparing ourselves to others is unhealthy, but sadly, we all do it at some point. This question gives you an opportunity to boost your boyfriend's self-esteem.

10. If you had the opportunity to change one thing about yourself, what would you choose?
We all have small flaws that we want to fix. In most cases, these are things that other people don't even notice. So, ask your boyfriend this question to find out what he would like to change about himself.
Click here if you want to know the Secret to Get Your Girlfriend Back


February 06, 2022 No comments
5 Things To Do When You’re Feeling Bored In Your Relationship

Don't panic if you feel a little bored around your partner. There are about a million and one things to do when you are feeling bored in your relationship. While boredom in a relationship can be worrying, there's really no need to panic. Most of us are bored with our daily routines, including our relationship with our partner, because we are human and crave variety. But it can be solved easily and with minimal effort.

According to dating experts, there are many ways to fight day in and day out from a long-term relationship. If you feel bored with the routine that you do with your partner every day then do new things that you have never done before. You will feel much better in no time.

Even if you're already happy with your partner, remember that there's nothing wrong with trying new hobbies, doing new things, and learning more about each other, as a way to stay close and laugh more.

Here are some tips that you can do so that the relationship does not feel boring.

1. Make a memorable date again

When you are in a relationship, you must have experienced a very special date that you will never forget. Then you can recreate the date.

You and your partner can choose the right date to rekindle the spark of romance with each other so you no longer feel bored.

2. Learn new things together

Every relationship needs a little spark to keep it warm and lasting. Trying new things together can help you reconnect.

You can start by doing things you like, such as cooking, playing games, to building a business together.

3. Praise Your Partner

One of the things you can do is compliment your partner. No matter how long your relationship is, never forget to compliment him.

Compliments are a way to show that you care and appreciate them. No need for excessive praise, enough with simple things, such as haircuts. This will make him happy and not feel bored.

4. Improve touch in relationships

Physical contact with a partner can produce the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is also known as the love hormone because it is associated with affection, love, and good emotions.

You can increase skinship by holding his hand to give a light massage on his shoulder. This touch can increase arousal as well as show how you feel. That way, the relationship does not feel bored.

5. Make time for yourself

There are times when you are bored with your partner because you spend too much time together. So, you need to do activities with family and friends. Like a picnic with family or hangout with your friends.

When you enjoy quality time to yourself, you will come back into the relationship with a refreshed mind.
Click here if you want to know the Secret to Get Your Girlfriend Back
February 04, 2022 No comments
How to Build a Family Financial Plan

Family financial planning can help you create an overall strategy for managing your money as you go through different stages of your life. It starts with basics like budgeting, debt repayment, and savings, but family financial planning can also include things like investing for retirement and setting aside money for college. Making long-term plans for your family's finances is something you can do on your own, but you may also need the help of a financial advisor to do so. Learn more about how family financial planning works.

What Is Family Financial Planning?


In short, financial planning is about setting specific goals that you want to achieve with your money and outlining the steps you need to take to achieve them.

Family financial planning includes all of the above, with an emphasis on specific situations where a family may need planning. This type of financial planning takes into account the many different ways that being married without children or having children can influence how you manage your money.

How to Create a Family Financial Plan


To manage how to manage family finances well, you can see examples of family financial planning tables that are widely shared on the internet. However, in general, how to plan effective family finances must pay attention to several important points which will be discussed below:

1. Calculate the Total of All Family Income

The first step in planning family finances is to calculate the total monthly income. This includes a fixed salary, business run, freelance work, and other income. This summed figure will be very important in determining the allocation of funds and spending priorities for every detail of family needs.

The key to the success of this family financial planning is to always be transparent on all income earned. So both husband and wife should not hide income for the sake of smooth family financial planning.

2. Create a Monthly Expenditure Budget

The next step to help manage family finances is to make a monthly expenditure budget. The purpose of making this monthly expenditure budget is to monitor financial flows. This can be a good way to manage family finances so that they are not wasteful.

To make a monthly spending budget, you can start by looking at examples of family financial planning from other people first. Then you can start recording the total amount of income for your husband and wife and then make details of expenses per day or per month. In this case, you must have separated the financial budget for primary, secondary, and tertiary needs.

How to plan family finances by making a monthly spending budget is easier for newly married couples. This is because couples who do not have children have more definite and manageable expenses when compared to families who already have children. You can also see if there are expenses that can be reduced to reduce expenses to be more efficient.

In making a family expense budget, there is a simple formula that you can use. The key is that you only have to prioritize new priority needs, set a budget for every detail of family needs. To make it easier, you can also use a simple formula that is 50-30-10-10. This formula means that 50% of the total family income is used for living expenses, 30% for paying installments and debts, 10% for savings and investments, and the last 10% for social funds or alms needs.

3. Determine Family Financial Priorities

In making family financial planning, you must be able to determine financial priorities. Each family usually has its own financial priorities that you can discuss with your partner. You must be able to separate which needs are a priority and which needs are not too important. This method is very suitable for husband and wife who work together and unite income in one account before dividing it for each expense item that has been recorded previously.

The way to determine the priority of family finances is to prioritize primary needs or basic necessities such as the cost of daily meals, electricity and water bills, school fees and so on. Furthermore, the new set for secondary and complementary needs. By determining financial priorities, family needs will be easier to manage.


4. Record All Expenses in Detail

To avoid spending too much, it's a good idea to record all expenses in detail. You can take notes in a book, use a computer with Microsoft Excel tools or you can also use financial note-taking applications that are widely available today.

By making detailed records, the family's financial allocation can be monitored properly. Applying these tips can also help new family financial planning management better because each expense becomes clearer, more detailed, and in accordance with the needs of the family.

5. Prepare for an Emergency Fund

Every household, whether newly married or for years, is legally obligated to prepare an emergency fund. The emergency fund itself is a special saving that should only be used during emergencies such as sudden household management, husband losing his job, sick child, and other unexpected expenses.

To set up this emergency fund, you can see examples of family financial planning by including an emergency fund post in monthly budget planning. Then set aside and save the emergency funds into a special account that is separate from the daily necessities account so that it is not used. You can discuss the amount of this emergency fund with your partner according to your monthly expenses.

6. Make Sure to Maintain Debt Ratio

In managing and planning family finances, you must maintain a debt ratio. Make sure whether the debt ratio is too large so that you find it difficult to divide expenditure items and lead to failure to manage family finances.

In family financial planning, lifestyle and debt are burdens and obstacles. One indication of good family finances is the debt ratio of no more than 30% of the main income. Consumptive life habits usually encourage debt. Therefore, as much as possible avoid buying goods by way of debt either using a credit card or with a loan from a bank or other people.

No matter how much income your family has, it will not be enough if you still carry out consumptive behavior. Therefore, start to reduce debt by paying the smallest installments first so that later your income does not run out just to pay debts.

7. Separate Savings and Investment Funds

You are wrong if you think that savings and investments come from the same post. In fact, the two things are separate. Savings is money that you have set aside and planned from the start. If you have extra money saved, you can use it as an investment fund.

By separating savings and investment funds, you will be able to help family finances in the future more precisely. For the type of investment, you can choose according to your needs and budget. As a recommendation, you can invest in gold, property investments such as houses, to business investments such as cafes and restaurants.

8. Set aside insurance funds

In managing family finances, don't just set aside for an emergency fund. However, try to set aside some of the income for insurance funds. By having insurance, you have a family financial security guarantee to avoid costs that are higher than income.

You can choose the type of insurance that suits your needs, such as education and health insurance. So try to include insurance funds in family financial planning.

9. Wisely use credit cards

Using a credit card can indeed make it easier for users to make financial transactions. However, make sure you use your credit card wisely so you don't go too far which can lead to failure in managing family finances. The reason is that if you get carried away, you can get into credit card debt and have to pay installments every month.

If you must use a credit card, make sure to use it wisely. There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of discounts and promos offered by credit cards to cut expenses. In addition, make sure to use a credit card to buy items that are really needed or included in your monthly needs.

In using a credit card, you must be able to distinguish between needs and wants. Credit cards can boomerang and trap users in prolonged debt. This will be even more difficult if you start having trouble paying it because the use of credit cards is more than your monthly income. If this happens, it means that you have failed in planning for family financial management.

10. Do Family Expenditure Audit Periodically

To ensure all family financial planning goes well, don't forget to evaluate expenses regularly. This is to maintain and ensure financial management remains on the right track, aka not excessive. From this audit, you can see expenses per month and it will be useful for financial planning for the next month.

If during the audit you find that your monthly expenses have spiked, then check which post costs the most and find out the cause. That way you will be able to find a solution so that it doesn't happen again in the next month.

In making financial planning for the family, it's good to make it as comfortable as possible and not too strict. You only need to pay attention to the percentage of household finances so that it does not exceed the monthly income. With less stringent planning, you can still make changes if needed for better financial planning.
February 03, 2022 No comments
5 Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

Having a love relationship is not just based on love. There are quality relationships that must be built so that you and him can be comfortable with each other for a long period of time. One of the ways to build a quality relationship is to build a healthy relationship.

Having a healthy romance is a sure step for you and him to be comfortable with each other, even making the relationship harmonious and lasting. All problems in the relationship can be resolved properly. There is also a way to build a healthy relationship can be started from the method below.

1. Hold on to the commitment early in the relationship

Do not live a relationship without a foundation of commitment at all. In the sense that the relationship that you and he is living is only a relationship that flows with the current that you don't know where to take it?

A healthy relationship starts with a commitment at the beginning of the relationship.

When you start to like him and fall in love with him, then start promising to be loyal to him. You must both promise to live this relationship for a long period of time and have clear goals.

2. Know each other's privacy

Having a romantic relationship doesn't mean you have to stay together and know everything. Remember that privacy is necessary. You have your own life and priorities, and so does your partner.

Don't put pressure on each other for reasons of openness so you can get to know each other. The reason is, a relationship that is too open about personal life is easier to cause boredom.

3. Communication if there is anything related to the relationship

Openness in relationships is only about your love relationship, more than that it shouldn't be. Tell all the problems if indeed you have discomfort in the relationship. In fact, even the bitter things should be known to each of them.

Do not let there be a lie that you keep because if one day it is found out, then everything will be destroyed. Open up and say everything, even if it will come later

4. There are limits when you and him do an intimate relationship

Showing and expressing love is not only done with words, but also body language, namely intimacy. Doing intimacy with your partner is not a bad thing, as long as you and he knows the boundaries.

Just apply touch by holding hands, hugging, leaning, and kissing only. Others, you still shouldn't do it because it can make the relationship problematic and lead to a toxic relationship.

5. Involve each other on important days

Show the love you have by involving your partner on important days, such as graduation days, career achievements, and your birthday celebrations. Not only you, but he too must do it.

Being involved with each other is proof that you need each other. The love connection they have is so close that you can share happiness with each other.

Is it easy enough to have a healthy relationship? You only need to apply the five methods above. Remember, everything needs a process too, especially if you and your partner start building this healthy relationship.
Click here if you want to know the Secret to Get Your Girlfriend Back
February 02, 2022 No comments
Marriage Advice for Newlyweds: 8 Tips Every Newly Married Couple Must Know

Delivered by adult clinical psychologist Sri Juwita Kusumawardhani, after marriage, a person does have friends to face the problems of living together. But, it's good that we do not give the responsibility to solve various problems that are a personal burden to be solved by the couple.

"Maturity and mature attitude in solving various problems that we have do not occur automatically. This requires effort and is a task that needs to be done by each individual," said Wita, in the book Anti-Panic Preparing for Marriage compiled by the Three Generations Clinic team.

Quoted from the Times, there is eight wedding advice that can be conveyed to newlyweds, namely:

1. Make the house the most comfortable place

It is important for married couples to make the house a 'place of return'. In a sense, home becomes a place for couples to talk to each other and bring relationships closer together. Do not be at home busy couples each so that communication does not occur.

2. Don't forget to stay romantic

Staying romantic needs to be done every couple after marriage. By maintaining romance, husbands and wives can stay intimate and remember what fun things they've been through.

3. Calm down

The name of marriage will be a conflict. As a married couple, we must deal with conflict wisely. Communication is the key. Tell your partner what problems you're experiencing, discuss them, and find solutions. If needed, help a third party such as a family or professional.

4. Lean on your partner

Don't be reluctant to lean on your partner when there's a problem. That is, make the couple a place to complain and discuss friends in solving problems. After all, when two people are united, the problems experienced need to be known together.

5. Say thank you

Thanks. Simple words that actually have a big effect on the relationship of husband and wife. Thank you for what your partner has done. That way, we can focus on the positive things that the couple has rather than the negatives. So that the satisfaction of the relationship becomes greater.

6. Have time together

It is agreed that the husband and wife have the right to have time together. It's really important to refresh yourself after being preoccupied with various things in everyday life. In this case, it is necessary to understand what is his favorite.

7. Do something new

Sometime after the marriage, newlyweds may experience a decline in their enthusiasm for marriage. You could say, the couple's intimacy began to fall. Anthropologist Helen Fisher says, try to do new things with your partner.

"Doing new challenging things can trigger the release of the dopamine hormone. This is good for the relationship between husband and wife. Keep learning, growing, and adventuring together," said Fisher.

8. Understand if the division of household tasks is difficult to be equal

Sharing household chores with your partner is important. However, women need to realize that it is difficult to hope that there will be an equal division of tasks between husband and wife in household matters. However, in society, it is commonplace for wives to complete more household tasks than husbands.
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February 01, 2022 No comments
10 Tips for Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships have been shown to increase our happiness, improve health, and reduce stress. Studies show that people in healthy relationships are happier and less stressed. There are basic ways to make a healthy relationship, even though every relationship is different. These tips apply to all types of relationships: friendships, professional and family relationships, and romantic partnerships.

Here's how to keep the relationship balanced to stay healthy:

1. Acknowledge your own feelings

When happiness depends on our partner, we will never be satisfied. To correct imbalances in relationships, it's important to change our priorities. Looking inward for inner peace by focusing on ourselves will help us become confident enough to be able to prove our own feelings.

2. Dare to say no

Our partner will always ask for our help for him. It can make people feel responsible for their own choices. This unhealthy help even damages the development of our partner. To create balance in a relationship, we must dare to say no and allow our partner to take responsibility for himself or herself.

3. Consult your relationship

There is a site where there is training to help you understand the situation and help achieve what you want. They help through complicated and difficult love situations such as deciphering mixed signals, forgetting a breakup, or anything else you're worried about.

4. Don't depend on your partner

It's important to learn to love yourself. When we love ourselves, we can freely leave complicated situations. Gaining strength and confidence will not make us worry about our partner.

5. Communication your problems with your partner

In codependent relationships, usually, couples don't want to share what they think and feel. Communication is key to balance in a relationship, so express your worries without fear and if they don't respond well to what's being said, consider whether it's the relationship you want in the long run or not.

6. Make a future plan

Making plans with a partner gives a partner responsibility to be realized. When focusing on this plan, don't overdo taking part in realizing it. The goals to be realized need a joint effort. It gives our partners a chance to prove themselves.

7. Listen to yourself

Listening to yourself doesn't mean being selfish. Inner dialogue can save us from a wrong relationship. Believe in yourself and do what is right for yourself. Lying to yourself just to keep your partner will make the relationship want to end immediately.

8. Know the limits with your partner

Codependent couples tend to take advantage of loved ones and usually cross their borders. To get balance in a relationship, it's important to know our boundaries with your partner. Everyone has boundaries that make a partner respect him or her. Assessing how a partner crossed the line allows knowing whether or not the relationship can develop.

9. Stop doing the same routine

To improve codependent relationships, drastic changes are needed. If you keep doing the same thing, nothing will change. Something different needs to be done to get different results. Start by thinking about the things that can be done in a relationship to create a healthy environment.

10. Have breathing space to reflect

Time apart from your partner may be a good thing for both of them to be able to give each other breathing space and reflect on the relationship. Having space will give you a new perspective and will probably find a solution that benefits both partners.
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January 30, 2022 No comments

15 Damn Good Pieces of Marriage Advice All Couples Need to Read

What are the rules of marriage that can really make you happy? The answer is none. But just a guide. Why? Because what works for one partner may be ridiculed by another. Everything depends. However, there is still one thing: couples need to know what is right for them and must immediately give up bad habits that can ruin their relationship. Because marriage does not always feel happy, there must be conflict. They need communication, evolution, curiosity, and approval from both partners to constantly do the work to help them adapt and grow for the better. So there are things that every couple should be aware of like fighting, bad habits, flexibility and many more that every couple should understand.

Here are 15 suggestions on how to keep a marriage intact from experts as well as those who have been married for years.

1. Communication

"I think communication is key. Although everyone will definitely say the same thing, the communication I mean here is to really listen to each other and decide that you can take the time to relieve emotions but without avoiding the problems at hand. Fight fairly. My husband often forgets about problems, whereas I won't assume everything is okay until the problem is completely solved. So communication is very important," said Cynthia, who has been married for four years.

2. Respect

"Respect each other. Never say or do anything that will worsen your problems with your husband. Especially if it offends his pride. Never forget about respect!" added Cynthia.

3. It’s not about receiving

"Probably the best advice I've ever received is: a relationship is not a place to get something, but to give something," says Gina, who has been married for two years.


4. You can’t stop trying

"You should always treat your partner the way you did during your honeymoon. Be kind, patient, loving, willing to help your partner and be there for them at all times. As André Maurois said: 'A happy marriage is a long conversation.' So chat with your partner all the time, communicate, and find new hobbies to do together until you always have something to talk about with him!"

5. Keep showing gratitude to your partner

"Being grateful for your partner is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner and yourself. Every day, write a list of at least three things you're grateful for about your partner. Don't forget to tell your partner every day how grateful you are to have a husband like him," advises Dr. Dain Heer, relationship expert.

6. Live your relationship like you just got married

"Eliminate and forget the bad things of yesterday, then start with a new relationship every day," said Dr. Dain.

7. Don’t go to bed angry

"Don't take your problems to bed. Before you go to bed, after a fight or anger, make a list of what you're grateful for and let the resentment subside. You will feel better," explained Dr. Dain.

8. Speak up

"Be honest with what you expect and what you want, because you can't expect your partner to be able to read your mind. After being open to each other about your feelings and your partner, a good husband won't mind meeting your expectations, even if things aren't perfect right away," said Taras, who has been married for 2.5 years.

9. Don’t hold things in

"Don't get into the habit of harboring your feelings, leaving them piled up will only end with an emotional outburst that will make things fall apart," advises Alia, who has been married for 6 years.

10. Don’t lose yourself

"Make sure we don't leave things we love, such as exercising, listening to music, painting, and so on. It's important to stay true to ourselves and live what we love even though we are married to stay happy and not lose our identity," said Alia.

11. Keep the reminders coming

"Do not hesitate to remind each other of the important things to maintain household harmony. Like a wedding anniversary or the next date schedule," Alia added.

12. Do nice things without being asked to

"Randomly leave notes, buy presents, or send flowers for no reason," said Alia.


13. Have sex on date night

"I have a friend who is also a psychologist, and she advised me to go on a dating show with my husband with sex," Kristi said, having been married for 1.5 years.

14. The success of a marriage requires a strong foundation

"Know that you probably won't always feel in love with your marriage, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you will hate your husband when arguing with him, it's natural because every relationship will pass the best and lowest point. But if your relationship is built on strong love and communication, the lowest point that is successfully passed will actually strengthen your marriage stronger, "explained Kristi.

15. Stay compact in front of the kids

"If you already have children, whatever household problems you face, stay compact and harmonious in front of the child. Problems faced with the husband, talk about it alone, without involving children, "added Kristi.
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January 28, 2022 No comments
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